The wonderful bloggers participating in #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful are back with a second installment in our series. This month, in the month of love, we are discussing the heart of many women’s bodies – the bust!
|Skirt: eShakti (Available here)|
As I discussed last month and at other times on the blog, I haven’t always loved my body, and truth be told, I still struggle with loving certain parts of it. That said, my bust has generally always been a source of body confidence.
|Blazer: Eloquii (Available here)|
|Shoes: Anne Michelle Giovanni (purchased from eBay)|
I remember wanting to wear bras well before I had any need for them. Of course, with a sister three years older, I could sneak her old training bras and pretend! As puberty began in fifth and sixth grade, and my tender bust began to grow, I felt excited. In many ways, I equated womanhood with having breasts. More than that, the idea of wearing bras was exciting!
My breasts continued to develop, and I remember picking out pretty lace and brightly colored bras that made me feel a little sexy. I think maybe wearing bras felt a bit like an equalizer. I may not have had the most expensive or trendiest clothes, but I could wear a pretty bra. It didn’t matter that they were purchased from a discount department store.
Overall, I was happy with my breasts, but I do remember thinking that my areolas were too large. It feels a little embarrassing to even bring this up, but I really only wanted to participate in this series if I could be honest as I truly believe more honest dialogue by women about their bodies is sorely needed.
As an adolescent, my areolas were a real concern to me. I saw the breasts of my mother and older sister and would very seldomly get a glimpse of a peer, but I didn’t have a lot of knowledge about the variation that breasts have. Even though my mother assured me that all kinds of breasts were “normal,” I still felt like perhaps my areolas weren’t attractive. I compared my breasts to Samantha Mathis in “Pump Up the Volume,” Beverly D’Angelo in “Vacation,” and to other women I would sometimes see in movies, and I knew my breasts didn’t look like theirs. I remember identifying with the breasts of Cordelia Gonzalez, the actress who played the prostitute from “Born on the Fourth of July.” It was the first time I saw breasts that looked more like mine, and this view gave me a feeling of normalcy.
|Cami: The Limited (Available here)|
I had a group of friends in high school, but I was definitely not a popular girl. I didn’t date in high school, but I did have an awareness that even if boys in whom I was interested weren’t interested in dating me, there were some who had an appreciation for my breasts. Through the wonderfully immature gossip grapevine that is friends passing notes and asking questions to boys, I learned that at least a few boys (male friends) thought that I had a nice chest. While worrying what boys thought probably wasn’t the most progressive of me, I did actually receive needed body confidence from this knowledge. There were boys who thought that at least part of me was attractive. At a time when I felt rather unlikeable, both in terms of my body and my personality, this was a good feeling.
Interestingly, in high school and college, the few compliments I recall receiving about my bust were from gay friends who weren’t out at the time. I remember being told by one friend how great I would look in a Renaissance-style costume, which I took as the intended compliment.
My breasts were not huge. I was probably a 36C or D and I
was overweight, but since I have such a petite frame, my bust
definitely appeared larger. I come from a family of large-busted women
on both sides of the family, and sometimes, I felt like my chest was
actually rather small.
|Purse: Forever 21|
|Earrings: New York & Company|
That said, I always felt like my breasts fit my frame. I never really wanted them smaller or larger. In my early twenties, at about 105 pounds and a full 34B, I remember my then-boyfriend telling me that a date of one of his friends had asked if I had breast implants. She apparently thought that I was disproportionate. While I’ve always had a fuller chest, I have never once thought that my body was out of sync in that way. Throughout a lifetime of poor body image and negative self-image in general, my breasts were a source of feminine pride.
Weight gains and losses, having children and aging have taken their effect on my breasts, and I’ve watched them change over time. Now, my breasts are at their largest ever, but as my body mass has increased, I still find them very proportionate to my body.
I struggle now to find bras that fit me, and often I wonder back to my 10-year-old self and what I possibly could have been thinking when I thought that wearing bras was exciting! LOL
Throughout my adult life, I have gone through occasional “bra-less” phases where I decided it was sexier or more natural to go without. Even at my largest, I’m still not afraid to sometimes skip the bra if I feel the desire.
|Bracelets: Target and Ann Taylor|
While I’ve gotten a little more conservative in my wardrobe picks due to work and kids, revealing or hinting at my breasts, with or without the intention of being sexual in nature, has never felt like a big deal to me. I try to stick to norms of professionalism at work, but I’ve never been one to care about errant erect nipples or other such issues. Women typically have breasts – that’s part of our biology. Why should we have to hide in fear of eliciting inappropriate responses from men or worry about not being taken seriously because we have breasts?
Being so petite, I don’t have a ton of room between my clavicle and bosom, so sometimes small amounts of cleavage are an unintentional part of life. For a while, I worried about this in relation to work, but now I just try to maintain a general conservative appearance and don’t get overly hung up on a hint of cleavage.
I do tend to associate my breasts with sensuality, not necessarily sex, but with a feeling. So, with that, I’m drawn to a slinky fabrics or the feeling that can be associated with a particular cleavage-bearing look.
While I’ve had a few insecurities here and there about my breasts, they have more typically been a source of much-needed body pride, and at this age, I can unequivocally say that I LOVE MY BREASTS!!
What has your relationship been with your breasts? Have you compared your breasts to family members, celebrities, or peers?
To catch up with the first installment of Unconditional Body Beautiful, see here.
Want to read more?
Catch the other posts from the bloggers participating in #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful!
Katherine Hayward – My life with CP
Josofab’s Curvesity World
Beca: Under Construction!