Black Pants Week continues with my go-to for work, evening, and weekends – black skinny pants. Skinny pants are perfect with flats, heels, or boots. The gold studs on the ankle of these pants add a style detail that sets this pair apart.
|Pants: The Limited (Sold out on-line)
Blouse: The Limited (Available here)
One of the beauties of black pants is that they provide a blank canvas – you can add pair just about anything with them. My favorite way to style them is to lighten them up with soft blouses and colored blazers as I did here.
When I first spotted this blazer, I was pulled in by the pale blue color (a color I didn’t already have in my wardrobe) and by the ruching on the sleeves which makes it perfect for pushing jacket sleeves up.
|Blazer: The Limited (Available here)|
Then I saw the lining which said “Adore Me,” and I thought, “Well, that’s pretty needy, isn’t it?” And why is a jacket from my favorite store promoting the idea that women should look to others for approval?
Then, I found a deeper meaning.
The lining is on the inside of the jacket. I came to the conclusion that while it may not have been the intent of The Limited, the words “adore me” on the inside of the jacket is a message to self, a reminder to the wearer to adore the many wonderful things about themselves.
|Necklace: The Limited (Available here)|
Is my body good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I a good enough parent? Is my outfit stylish enough? Do I look young enough? Am I competent enough at my job?
Sometimes, it is easy to feel like we are simply not enough.
We are so often told by our culture that our best may not be or is not enough. As women, we are so often taught that we must be superwomen who can take on the board room, the kitchen, and the bedroom without breaking a sweat. We are told that we must be skinny AND curvy AND have gravity-defying breasts. We are told that we must be experienced sexually and always sexually available while remaining virginal and “innocent” – child-like even. We are told to break the glass ceiling in the workplace but to feel guilty about leaving our children with babysitters and day cares.
So often, culture and society fail women. They fail us by teaching us that we are not worthy, that our best is not enough. Feeling fully confident in ourselves can be a constant struggle because the media, politicians, and especially corporations are constantly telling us otherwise.
Unfortunately, insecurity sells.
It’s up to us to reject the messages with which we are bombarded. That is a difficult process, but daily affirmations are one way of converting those negative messages into positive ones.
|Bracelets: Target, Claire’s|
I’ve documented some of my body image struggles here on the blog, but I haven’t spent as much time talking about how I’ve mostly overcome them.
Learning to love myself was and is an on-going process. One thing that has helped is learning to change the voice in my head.
Look in the mirror – instead of criticizing yourself (as I was always prone to do), find something about yourself that you love.
Force yourself (if necessary) to say the words out loud:
“My ______ is beautiful. I am beautiful.”
“I provide/teach my children _________. I am a good parent.”
“I _________ this at work last week. I am great at my job.”
It may seem silly at first, but when you tell yourself the words out loud, it starts to change the energy around you. When you keep doing this, your words become less forced – it becomes second-nature to think positively and confidently about yourself.
We’re all going to have our not so confident days. That’s human nature and a product of cultural sensitization to the messages that constantly tell us we aren’t __________ enough. Reminding ourselves that we are good enough helps us combat those negative feelings.
And with that, I return to my jacket with its reminder to give myself the affirmations I deserve (that we all deserve).
I ADORE ME!
In a month centered around love – take the time to love yourself!
|Boots: Fergalicious by Fergie (Available here)
Satchel: The Limited (old)
Do you give yourself any affirmations or have other strategies of boosting your confidence when you’re having a “not ________ enough” day?
P.S. Click here to check out my newest post for The Curvy Fashionista featuring petite plus-size styling options for your Valentine’s Day look (Most of the styles are available in petite, plus size, and misses/straight sizing as well).